SS: Writer’s Block

Bad day? Write about meeting GD. Obviously.

Can someone get this to him? There’s actually a really nice park in my town (yes Brick allows people to buy use of the land for things) on the river. Lots of space with options. Windward Park, Brick, NJ.

Nah. I’m joking. Not about the park. It’s a really nice park. I’m joking that GD would have use for it. Or would want anything to do with me. This is completely fiction.

…. I shouldn’t have to tell you that. That this is fiction. Right?

This is a first draft, literally just created nonsense story about me meeting GD. Mwahahaha. This is where my brain is. Thanks for asking.

[Idol’s Gaze]


Writer’s Block

Always a writer’s block. No matter where I go or what I try, there’s always a block. I pull off the headphones and place the laptop on the picnic table. I tried coming to the park. River backs up against a nice beach area. The little tables I use sit just on the edge of the beach before it turns to grass. I scan the area again. I came here in an effort to face off with the dreaded writer’s block.

“It’s not working.” I scrunch up my nose and pull the headphones from the computer. GD comes blasting out of the little speakers. He’s been trying to help me blast through this block.

Nothing has worked. Not cleaning. Not cooking. Not changing my placement.

I start pacing around the table swaying some to the music. It’s hard to deny the dance when the music hits right. GD’s music always hits right.

It’s frustating to have so many different pieces that need to line up and nothing seems to be lining up. “I have a bunch of pigeons squawking over a french fry.”

I twirl to the music while my thoughts rumble around in my head.

At some point my story falls to the waste side as the song takes claim to my headspace. And my body’s actions. Dancing around the table… Balancing on the fence between the grass and sand… I look a mix between gymast and dancer. I’m really neither. I just won’t stop moving to the music.

“Love the music.”

I freeze midstep as a man walks over. His grin says easy going, but there’s a reason I’m sworn off every masculine persona- minus GD. He’s also a Korean superstar completely out of my reach.

Still this guy sways a little to the music instead of moving my side. He has if noticed my unease and keeps distance. “This is my favorite part.” He even sings along with GD. Has talent. Hope he’s using it. I wish I was using some of my talent. Life really isn’t that easy, though. So many people in New Jersey area have skill and no way to show it off.

I step closer to my computer and just watch as he belts out a series of notes I would think hard to do. Clearly he knows Korean. Scanning him, he clearly looks Korean. His grin as the song finishes spooks me a little. I catch his eyes not meaning to and just refocus on my computer. “I can…”

“Lower it? It’s a touch distracting.” He nods to the hill. I can see a collection of people doing something. Podcast? Youtube video? It’s not exactly a cheap area. The river goes to the bay and then the ocean. This park sits near several million dollar homes. And one of those rich people are doing something.

“Should I leave?”

“We have the area marked off.” He shrugs. “Cool music.”

“Um.” I mute my computer. “I’m sorry for being distracting.”

He steps closer and I freeze again. That has him stop. “My name’s Jiyong. You are…?”

“Cat.”

“Just Cat?”

I freeze. “Cat Hartliebe… No…”

“No?”

I sigh and sit before my computer. “Cat Hartliebe is my penname. I’m actually Catherine Gillette, a nobody from nowhere.”

“Who has good music tastes.” Jiyong chuckles. “If you’re here when we’re finished shooting, I’ll come say hi.”

I bite my lip as he disappears back to the hill. Several greet him with chatter.

I think of backing up. It wouldn’t take much. I’m always one step away from being able to flee. I froze. Random guy was caught by my music. I couldn’t even make small talk. There’s been too many random guys in my life for that. “I should get a girlfriend.”

I blink and reopen my story. Girlfriend! That’s it! It wasn’t fitting right because she wants a girlfriend. She wouldn’t accept being forced into a relationship with a man. That’s the problem!

I squint at the screen so glad to be making such progress. Squint… I look over at the setting sun. “That’s my clue to pack up. I can work elsewhere.”

I move my items into my bag taking one last long swig of the soda that was keeping me alive.

“Wait.”

I freeze spotting Jiyong moving this way. “Uh…”

“You’re not doing anything wrong.” Jiyong hops the fence and moves closer this time. I’m more mouse caught by a cat. “We’re about to take a break and I was so glad you’re still here.”

I look to the hill. “Losing light.”

“Yeah… Outdoor shots have time restraints.” Jiyong smiles. “So… Can I… Ask for…?”

I stare at him a long moment. “My favorite GD song?”

Jiyong shrinks. “Um… That would be nice to know, but… I kinda wanna…” He curses lightly and looks back up the hill. His crew is packing things up.

I frown. Do I really want to do this to myself again? How many times, Cat? How many times do you make a fool of yourself? It’s supposed to be GD or no one. “My number? Handle? App of choice’s name?”

His eyes catch mine again. It’s a rich brown. It has my lick my lips. “Yeah.”

I turn aside. I’m stupid. I rattle off my phone number. Then let him know my insta and google hangouts. “I’m also on Twitter… But I’m not as active anymore.” I pause waiting for him. I repeat as request. To have him want to know? I’m going to berate myself. I always regret relationships. I’m supposed to be not available. “I’m heading to Barnes and Noble to keep working. They close at ten if you’re interested in stopping by.”

I hear my phone ding. I don’t look at it until Jiyong tells me to. Hangouts. “It’s yours?”

“I hope so.”

I chuckle at the handle. “You’re a wise dragon, huh?”

“It’s stupid, but… Sometimes we want a way to hide who we truly are.”

I sigh looking at the handle. Stupid nickname. “I’d rather have the chance to truly be who I am in the open. I’m sick of games. Society has been cruel to far too many.”

“Jiyong!” A yell from the hill. They say something in Korean. NJ does have a decent Korean population. It’s not that shocking to have the rich collectcion here speaking it.

“I gotta go.” Jiyong reaches out for me, but I back off. “Maybe I can meet you up later. Text me the location you’re picking.” He steps back. There’s uneasiness on his face before he exhales and races back to his team.

I put everything away as I was doing before he came over. “I managed the block. And perhaps created a new one. I’m stupid.” I look at the water. The sunset means I need to leave. “Don’t fall for anyone, Cat. They will only end up abusing you as everyone has before.”

With tears as my companion, I move to the car. I got my break. I sit in the driver’s seat and cry. I can’t drive like this.

-ding-

I look at Wise Dragon’s text. ‘This is Jiyong.’ was from before. Simple and polite. Now, he comments, ‘We’re going to get dinner. Hope I can hear from you soon.’

I’m stupid. I tap the keys, ‘Same.’ Shaking off my desire to curse myself off, I head home. Food and checking on child will give me a chance to work again, this time at Barnes and Noble where there is light.


Love it? Check out more of my work [https://cathartliebe.wordpress.com/]. Or just love me with tips: [https://paypal.me/hartliebecat]; [https://cash.app/$CatHartliebe]

Should I continue this nonsense story? Or focus on something else?

Chapter 2 [SS: Just a Little Writing]

33 thoughts on “SS: Writer’s Block”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.